Thursday, May 29, 2008

Brain Drain


I've been working like a dog for the past few weeks, and it's amazing how working with spreadsheets ten hours a day, six days a week, can really fry your right side of your brain. I mean, I haven't had a creative thought in my head to post here since crunch time at work began. I even forgot my username AND password to log into my blog.

Probably the most creative thing I've been doing is deciding whether or not to toast my bagel before the morning meetings. I really hope my condition isn't permanent, or this will be my last post for a while...

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Less is More


On my way home from work after throwing out my back (ouch!), I passed by this corner restaurant that has an insane number of chalkboard signs displaying their 'specials.' There's hardly any room on the sidewalk to maneuver around them. Seems to me that each desperate sign is another reason not to dine at this establishment.

Monday, May 12, 2008

I’m Ready for an Upgrade


Regular-sized umbrellas are extremely stress-inducing.
They do not keep you dry in really rainy weather—perhaps just the very top of your head.
The raindrops collect and roll off of the edges into rivers that pour onto your clothes—making you wetter even faster than just the raindrops would.
They are never flip-inside-out proof, no matter how much you spent for them.
I’m convinced they could only keep you 100% dry in light rain that falls straight down on a completely windless day—a rare weather phenomenon.

Before today, I thought people walking with those gigantic family-of-four-sized umbrellas were annoying—huge purposeless SUVs of the sidewalk. Now I think those folks are smart and dry. I’m stuck with damp pants all day and an umbrella that conveniently fits in my purse.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Department of Manure


I walk pass the Department of Agriculture everyday, and I swear, every week or so, there are freshly planted flowers and shrubbery out front. Wouldn't you think, if anyone in the entire US could keep a garden alive, it would be the folks working at the Department of freaking Agriculture?! I think even I could do a better job--and I've somehow managed to kill an aloe plant in record time.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

A Feminine Touch


Whenever it’s rainy like today, I get a kick out of seeing the FBI agents hurry into the Hoover Building carrying girly-print umbrellas. Perhaps their wives grabbed their neutral colored umbrella in the morning? Whatever the case, these perfectly groomed G-Men in their dark suits and trench coats seem much less intimidating…

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Woe Is Me


Does anyone else feel a little hurt when you sneeze and no one around you says "bless you"? It's strange because I don't really feel the need to be verbally blessed by complete strangers, but when no one says it to me, I feel a tad insulted and a little self-conscious, like the strangers think I'm too un-holy for a "bless you"... How could they possibly know what I did in college?

Monday, May 5, 2008

Sorry, Another Crosswalk Post


Why does the pedestrian lighted crosswalk sign abruptly change from "Walk" to "Stop"? I mean, are you supposed to just stop dead in your tracks in the middle of the crosswalk and wait to get hit? Shouldn't the sign first say "Hurry your ass up!" before just saying "Stop"?

Friday, May 2, 2008

Wool or Linen Today?


The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) headquarters are located right near my Metro stop. Lately, I’ve been questioning how certain people got jobs there. Yes, the spring weather has been finicky lately, but how come on a really hot and humid day last week I saw an NOAA employee in full winter gear—coat, knit hat, gloves…? I was practically sweating in my jeans and a t-shirt. Then a couple days ago, on a just-above freezing morning, I saw an NOAA employee in a short skirt and flip-flops, hurrying to get inside the warmth of the building. Do these people not know that the NOAA runs the National Weather Service? Couldn’t they have at least turned on Al Roker for a second in the morning before dressing? As employees, shouldn’t it be part of their job descriptions to dress according to the weather?